Im at strip club and am horny
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
