I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
