I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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