If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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