is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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