ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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