i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
