ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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