The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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