My friends, they love my intelligence
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
