I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
