my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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