grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
