apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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