distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
