ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize