I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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