if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
