I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
