I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
