what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
