Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize