look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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