I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
