I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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