Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
