Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
