Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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