last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
