would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
