You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
