Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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