im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
