So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
