My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
