8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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