Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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