I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
