remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
