Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize