I puked a lego.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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