why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
