Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
