There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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