yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
