During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im six kinds of drunk right now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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