If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
