Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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