Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
