You're a womanizer and a bitch.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
