Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
