i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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