And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
