the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
