Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
