Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
