garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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