oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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