our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I love you.
Bad choice
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
