Heybabeimwearingurpanties
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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