My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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