During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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